Hello everyone, I am Vickie and I like to take this first post to use as an intro to myself and my plans for this blog. If it’s not obvious by the name Seeking Truth with Jesus this is a Christian blog, that I should have started a long time ago. Back during my divorce I had felt God’s calling to share my journey then, but I hate writing about myself so I never did. Here we are years later and life took some turns and I am being called to share my journey once again. This time however I have decided to focus on God and less about me.

So, while I hate writing about myself, let me take a paragraph or three to tell you about the journey I have been on for the last 35 years. I guess I’ll start at the beginning. I was born into a Catholic family that went to church every sunday. As a small child I had a good relationship with God. I actually told my mom I was going to be a Nun when I grow up. But, when I was 11 we moved and never found a new church. The rest of my childhood I would only attend church with my grandparents or friends. Which led me to eventually just lose touch with God. As a teenager I went seeking answers everywhere else. But God would try to call me back.

 It wasn’t until I was about 23 that I would really find my way back to God. I am bullheaded, and there were questions that I never seem to find answers to at church. And, there were things I just never agreed with. I spent my high school years looking at other religions and my young adult years just trying to build the life I wanted. God tried to reach out to me multiple times during those years but I pushed him away or ignored him. At 22 I got married and the following year we got our first home in a new town and I decided it was time to go find God. Now my husband at the time was agnostic but he was willing to go to church with me, so we went to a few different ones trying to find the right one. Eventually we gave in to his fathers request to go to the church he attends. And, well, I fell in love with it. I had wanted a church that felt like home and that’s what I found. They were super welcoming and actually cared about one another. We both ended up getting baptized and becoming members there. But, as the years went the devil worked his way into my life. I tried to focus on God but eventually everything I had worked to build all on my own without him seemed to crumble around me. The last thing I had was my marriage but eventually that too fell away.

When my husband told me he wanted a divorce I was broken and alone. My family lived over 2000 miles away. My friends all have moved away. All I felt I had was him. I knew at that point I had a choice I could harden my heart and hate God or could turn to him fully. I chose the latter. I was blessed to be able to move in with my grandfather and have a church family that prayed for me and encouraged me. I’m crying while trying to write this because I remember the hurt I felt those days, but also because of the grace of God. I remember being so low that I would wake up crying because I was still alive. I know some may not believe me or perhaps just not understand what I mean when I say,”it was all God keeping me alive in those days” but it really was. I would lay in bed crying out to God about how I just wanted to go home to him, how I was done living in this awful world, how I didn’t have the strength to go on. It was then that I thought about the little picture my mom always had hung on the wall. It was a picture of a beach with the poem Footprints in the Sand. I realized then that I didn’t have to have the strength because God did, he could just carry me. And I remember just praying to God that right then I need him to carry me that I need just that one set of footprints in the sand. That if he could just carry me through this and then when I am ready give me the strength to make my own footprints alongside his one day. Of course He answered my prayers and He got me through those days. But as the years went by and things smooth out I once again hit a point where I allowed the devil to plant seeds of doubt in my head. I started to feel like church wasn’t right for me and neither was all this Christian stuff because things just didn’t add up the way I wanted it to. I ran away from it all because I thought I could just be happy living the life I wanted. While a few years went by then last summer it all hit a wall. I realized I was miserable and felt empty again…I was lost once again.

After getting lost in the world this lost this last I didn’t feel like going back to church at first because I felt bad, ashamed that I let the devil lead me astray again. But as I went back to church and opened up to the ladies during Bible study and they told me how it may seem like they never struggle with their faith, but they all did. And that made me feel better, knowing I wasn’t alone in this. It was actually during this bible study that the holy spirit opened my eyes to the point that Jesus never leaves us. We may feel that we get lost and Jesus has to come find us but that not really the case. In Revelation 2:2-5 Jesus is telling the church in Ephesus about the things they have done and how they didnt love him like they did at first and how they need to repent and come back to him. It was while reading that, that the Holy Spirit made me realize how could he know what we’re doing if he’s not with us. And it says they didn’t love Him like they did at first, not the other way around. He still loved them the same and was with them. So It’s us pulling away or getting lost, not Jesus He’s always right there waiting for us to turn back to him.

While that basically brings me to where I am now. I have brought my focus back to God. I am actively back at church and involved with children’s ministry. I am even taking classes to deepen my relationship with God and learn to minister to others at Christians Leaders Institute. While my life may not be where I want it to be right now I know God has a plan for my life. One of my favorite Bible verses that I found during my divorce is “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV. I would recite this multiple times a day and it would give me the hope to keep moving forward. It still gives me hope today. I may not know the plans but I know God and trust him so I’m happy to see where He’s leading me.

Okay okay that may have been 4 or 5 paragraphs about my journey to where I am now. Once I started writing it just keep going. Anywho back to what this blog is going to be about. As I said earlier I felt called by God to share my journey. And well I was able to write the last paragraphs, I feel my life is really boring. And I would have nothing to write about after a few posts about God getting me through my divorce. Eventually I realized that perhaps my journey to share is that I’m still seeking the truth, that my faith may still be wobbly. I have gotten lost a few time but Jesus always seems to come find me. And now I feel call to reach out to those like me. We knew God but then life happened. Maybe you like me have gone seeking answers and got lost. I don’t know how many times we can ask questions and be given the answer of “because the bible says” or “it’s in the bible” and not get lost. I hate those answers. It’s like asking for directions and only being told it’s in town. Like which town, what road in town, where at on that road? The Bible has 66 books in it, and the book of Psalms alone has 150 chapters. Without an address to plug into my GPS I’m going to get lost. So the point of this blog is that it’s a place for me to write about the answers I find for the things we’re questioning. And don’t worry I’ll include the bible address for you to be able to find them as well.

If you have made it this far Thank You So Much for reading my first ever blog post. I look forward to you joining me while we seek truth with Jesus. My next post I will be diving more into God always being with us and Jesus talking about the lost and found. Now let me end this with a simple prayer. Dear Lord, thank you for bringing everyone here and allowing me to share my journey and thoughts with time. I ask that you use it to reach those that need to hear it and that you’ll use it to help them on their journey with you. May you bless them all. In Jesus name Amen